But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
