Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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