well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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