i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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