Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
