The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
