Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
