I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize