oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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