Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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