Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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