I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
