the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
