the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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