he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
