Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
