Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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