she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
