went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
