Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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