oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
