somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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