So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
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