yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
