I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
