I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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