we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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