I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
