Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
