First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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