How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
