Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
