And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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