just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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