I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
They have beer where we have blood.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
