I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize