We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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