On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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