I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
