Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
