I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
