No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
