Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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