Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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