I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
