Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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