All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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