who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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