I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize