that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
