you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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