I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
