Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
