Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
