I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
