remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
