i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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