No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's never too late to be topless.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
