whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
A bitchslap is in order.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
